I have been so busy, keeping up with this blog has fallen by the wayside. I hadn't realized it's been so long since the last post. Moving has been a struggle in the parenting department. Rylie is doing well, enjoys her school and has made friends but Caitie is still refusing to embrace anyplace that isn't Peterborough. I understand, I never wanted to move them so late in their teen years and I remember how much I hated moving so often as a kid. I am trying to be patient and understanding but a sullen teenager is a challenge for sure. I had an epiphany this morning, although it wasn't especially comforting, Parenting teenagers is like being pushed off a cliff that seemingly has no bottom. You are completely at a loss as to what to do, what's coming at you, and when you'll hit the bottom. There are of course times where the winds may buffet your fall and maybe even offer you a respite from the plummeting but in just the next breath you could be speeding back into the abyss again. I am flailing and failing daily at parenting these teenage humans and all I can do is just try and do better, or at least not cause more strife, the next day. Some days I get a smile and hug, other days I get sullen silence and complete ignoring. It's whiplash and emotionally exhausting on a daily basis. I haven't been this tired since their toddler hood! Parents of adult children say this will pass and it will get better and I am sure that is the case, but right now Steve and I are just racing down this free fall trying our best not to crash into the wall.
Steve and I have restarted taking ballroom dance lessons. We are part of this great place called National Dance Club and have a great (albeit very young) instructor named Austin. We have been so out of practice but slowly things are coming back to us and we are recapturing that muscle memory. Through this rekindling of this weekly adventure I have come to realize a few things. I have some trust issues. We used to joke that I am not a good follower, I was always trying to lead Steve. We tried to chalk it up to my ability to keep a beat and having had previous dance experience, but recently I have started to delve deeper into my "junk" and I have found that it really is about trusting my partner to lead me safely where I need to go. To be able to let go of control of the situation. SO HARD! I have also found dancing with a partner is a metaphor for a relationship. The most important thing (other than trust) is your frame. It is the foundation for everything, a weak or collapsing frame creates imbalance and can cause you to step on your partners toes or get completely out of synch. If you have the opportunity to try ballroom dance I highly recommend it, whether alone or with a partner, it is so much more than being able to move on the dance floor.
Well those are the things that have been on my mind that I felt I wanted to share. I hope you all have a wonderful Holiday Season. Enjoy the day!
